Friday, July 1, 2011

Ex Prostitute, Ex Witch, Ex Druggie - but God

A few months ago I met a beautiful woman. Perfect hair, perfect nails, perfect smile. Bubbly as ever! She walked into a room and lit it up. But she had an imperfect past, to say the least.


Lelana's face obscured to protect her identity
 

Lelana use to be a prostitute. Her clients were the elite, high ranking members of society - Names you'd know.

Molested as a child, she describes to me another incident that probably set off her sex job: the first man she had sex with.

"In his bedroom, his brother walked past the window and he turned around and said watch, this is how you treat a woman. And I moved and he didn’t like the way I moved and he proceeded to start punching me and hitting me while he was having sex with me – and, he then put a pillow over my head and said just shut up I don’t want to see you I just want to get done."


The incident shattered an already low self esteem: fat. ugly. unlovable, not even her first boyfriend loved her. 


One-thing-after-the-other happened next: she left her Christian home, where the guilt consumed her; she started going to clubs, drinking until Monday morning came; and then she got married, and divorced.


Brokenness led her to the promise she had made to herself years before.


"I had always said in my life, if I ever sleep with a man before I’m married to him I’ll become the greatest prostitute that ever lived."

True to her word, and as the "power of the tongue" principle would have it, Lelana walked into a brothel, signed up and started working the very next night. It was her escape from rejection. She wasn't free, people had to pay for her - she had the power.  


"I got into the thinking that it’s just a place where I’m not gonna form real relationships... It’s good money, and my heart hardened. It wasn’t a feeling of, 'this is a glamourous job' – because it’s not a glamourous job. And any prostitute who tells you that is either high at the time, afraid of her pimp, or has lost all sense of reasoning because there’s nothing glamourous.

There’s nothing glamourous about going through seven men a night, there’s nothing loving or caring about having sex and a man gets up and throws money at you. It makes you feel very common, very worthless because you’re just as good as the amount of money that he pays you. And you sit in a lounge area, and men walk in – women walk in, and if you’re not chosen it’s just another rejection, and you hide that rejection with drugs. It doesn’t matter where you go in the world, prostitution all over leaves women feeling guilty, because it’s not the way it’s supposed to be."


Drugs, gangs, sex and more drugs became the order of her day. Then the occult. Again, she enjoyed the power it gave her. So intertwined that she was allocated a Demon Guardian. She was too afraid to turn off the light at night because she knew what was in her home. So intertwined, she made another promise:  "I had always maintained that if I ever fell pregnant, I would contact my Satanic friends and I would induce her and abort the baby and sacrifice it to the devil."


As your words provoke, she fell pregnant. What happened? Her daughter answers:


"My mommy was very bad and God hid me away from her so that she couldn't harm me."


She found out at five months and it was too late to abort. But right on time for God's plan. Her daughter's birth evoked a sense of pride in Lelana, a sense of belonging, and a beginning of healing from rejection. Fast forward --- one year after her child's birth, Lelana gave her heart to Christ. Prostitution ended. Drugs done. Satan, vanquished!



"The biggest thing for me was when I had to admit that God loved me, and I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t say those words, I couldn’t fathom that after all I had done, that God could still love me. And, as I sat there I just kept saying God it’s not possible – you can’t love me, you don’t know what I’ve done, you don’t know where I’ve been, you don’t know who I’ve been with, God nobody wants me, nobody loves this person why do you want me here. And I just sensed God standing to the side with His arms open and all He said to me was Lana if nobody else wants you I’ll take you as you are – that’s why I sent my son to the cross; and I cry every single time because I’m so grateful, I’m so so aware of what Jesus has done in my life. I mess it up all the time, I don’t get it right all the time, you know temptations come and they go, I’m not always able to stand up to them and He still loves me, He still loves me, He still sees me as beautiful, He still sees me as somebody He can use for His glory!"

Today Lelana speaks at schools, churches, where ever the opportunity arises. She has gone through it all, and shares her amazing story of healing from all this and the rejection she once felt. She is beautiful, and she knows it now.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Go on, say something. If you like the blog, click follow. I look forward to hearing from you!